If we understand BPD, then we can understand the effect it can have has on our loved ones and ourselves.
BPD is complex because there are many co-occurring mental illnesses that accompany BPD, especially depression, anxiety, other personality disorders, drug and alcohol disorders, eating disorders and PTSD are amongst the most common. Often our attention is taken by the co-occurring mental illness but to find a way to recovery, we have to address the BPD to ensure the other conditions can be successfully treated. One challenge is that medication does not address BPD, although it can help with some symptoms, eg anxiety. The successful treatment for BPD is psychotherapy.
BPD is easy to understand in terms of the five domains of dysregulation: emotional; behavioural; relational; cognitive, identity. But there is more we can learn...
It is also a technique that when applied regularly can help change your life.
On a simple level, validation is acknowledging the emotion of the other person. At a deeper level it teaches us how to open ourselves to listen to and learn about others, to be curious as to how they feel and think and act. For many it is the first step towards changing themselves: once you can validate others, you can validate yourself. And in doing this we learn the importance of being non-judgemental and of practising acceptance.
It helps to learn what others think about validation. Validation might be the key to changing your life....
They are not punitive. They define how we live our lives, not how other people do what we say. They are how we can live with integrity.
As with all our key techniques, at BPD Community we adopt precise definitions of our concepts behind them. The first step in understanding our values is to recognise our values. What is important to us in our lives. Our values are what we define as important to make the world a better place. By this definition, making money is not a value, but showing respect is. For many of us, showing respect is something we feel might be lacking in our everyday world. When another person is disrespectful towards us, we might feel threatened or hurt. So, respect is a commonly recognised value in our BPD Community. If everyone showed respect, we think, the world would be a better place. Can you identify three core values for yourself?
We also refer to this technique as limit setting, we can learn more here:
It might be important to clarify the difference between 'cure' and 'recovery'. Cure is a medical term to describe the absence of symptoms. Recovery is the word to use to describe living a fulfilling life. Cure is defined for us by doctors, recovery is our own definition.
BPD Community considers recovery to be a flexible and fluid condition. It is much debated in relation to BPD. We look to Dr Marsha Linehan as an example of a person who had BPD and who has achieved recovery.
The world is perfect as it is: our focus is on acceptance, validation, and tolerance.
Acceptance comes from the tradition of Zen Buddism. Marsha Linehan thought this was the element that was missing in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and developed the learnings from Zen philosophy to help create Dialectical Behaviour Therapy. She refers to radical acceptance to communicate that this mindfulness is “allowing” experiences rather than suppressing or avoiding them. It is the intentional process of observing, describing, and participating in reality non-judgmentally, in the moment, and with effectiveness.
Marsha has a lot to teach us and so does Tara Brach, more is available to explore here: