If you have BPD you have a different sort of life than the one you thought you would have when you were little. This might make you feel angry, maybe sad, maybe you feel ashamed for how things have turned out for you. However it feels it helps to remember that you are not your emotions, you just feel them, and they don’t have to rule you.
You have survived the challenges of adolescence and are well into adulthood. Many people in this age group are consolidating their careers, making long standing relationships that will hopefully last a lifetime, planning on having a family and definitely settling down. Many people with BPD are doing these things, many aren’t. People with BPD are not easily categorised.
The most important thing for you to know is that there is hope. Recovery is possible, but it doesn’t happen on your own and it doesn’t happen without a real challenging effort on your behalf. It is not an easy journey, but as those who come out the other side can attest, it is well worthwhile.
The first question someone who loves you wants to know is: are you in treatment?
The key to recovery is effective structured treatment and effective structured therapies share the following characteristics (according to the National Guidelines):
The therapy is based on an explicit and integrated theoretical approach, to which the therapist (and other members of the treatment team, if applicable) adheres, and which is shared with the person undergoing therapy.
The therapy is provided by a trained therapist who is suitably supported and supervised.
The therapist pays attention to the person’s emotions.
Therapy is focussed on achieving change.
There is a focus on the relationship between the person receiving treatment and the clinician.
Therapy sessions occur regularly over the planned course of treatment. At least one session per week is generally considered necessary.
Structured psychological therapies are effective when delivered as individual therapy or as group therapy.
Have you taken control of your journey to recovery? Do you have a file of your medical and mental health details, a record of who you have visited and what happened? It pays to keep as good a record as possible: then you can track your progress.
A good GP is helpful. If you are in a treatment vacuum, go to your GP and tell them. Say you believe you have BPD and you want a Mental Health Treatment Plan. They will ask a heap of questions, practice patience and answer as best you can. Ask for a referral for treatment. If you can’t afford a private psychologist, ask for a referral to the public system.
If you are uncomfortable with the GPs response, find another one and try again.